While it can be difficult to establish these boundaries in the first place, tough love is ultimately a form of love and your relationship and your partner will grow if you are able to set and understand boundaries in your relationship. Establishing boundaries in a relationship and respecting these boundaries establishes trust that actually causes couples to become closer. Standing up for your boundaries, saying things like, ‘No, you can’t borrow my car’ or ‘I need some time and space to myself’ may feel harsh or unloving, but it is quite the opposite. Setting boundaries in a relationship is often a form of tough love, especially if partners are not on the same about things like sharing personal possessions or the amount of time that you spend together as a couple. Boundaries are the standards we set in a relationship related to things like our time, possessions, personal space and physical and sexual intimacy. It’s about setting and understanding boundariesĪ huge part of open communication in relationships is related to setting and understanding boundaries. So while honesty can sometimes be brutal, it is a testament to how much your partner loves you and how much they want the relationship to work. People have hard conversations in hopes of improving relationships and staying together. This of course is not permission to hurt your partner’s feelings on purpose, just an acknowledgement that sometimes hard conversations do have to happen and these are often instances of tough love. It is important that you are able to be honest about your feelings and your needs, even if it hurts your partner’s feelings a little bit. While good communication and honesty SHOULD go hand in hand, that is not always the case, so it’s worth spelling out that honesty is a form of tough love. This often means a little tough love in the form of a reality check or just letting them know how you feel. In a relationship, you need to be able to tell your partner if something is wrong or if they have done something to hurt your feelings. And sometimes communication involves a little tough love. It’s about open communicationĪnyone that knows anything about relationships will tell you that communication is a key part to any relationship. Tough love is about overcoming challenges as a couple, and growing stronger through adversity. After all, it’s easy to love someone when you are seeing them and your relationship through rose colored glasses, it’s much more special to know that you still love someone after learning their flaws and having disagreements. If you and your partner are able to make it out of the honeymoon phase and then survive the power struggle phase (which is often characterized by disagreements and conflicts), it’s a true test of your love for one another. After the honeymoon phase of a relationship, when everything is lighthearted and feels perfect, the reality of the relationship often sets in, and with it will come some tough love. Relationships are not all fun and games and neither is love. Ready to get started? It puts your love to the test Where do you even start? Download Relish today and get a free week of conversation guides and relationship coaching. The tough love conversation can be a hard one. Showing tough love in this case encourages accountability. If someone is not being the best version of themselves, it often takes a little tough love for them to snap out of it and hold themselves to higher standards. Tough love is often about holding people accountable to standards, and while it may feel difficult in the moment, it attests to their respect for you and their view of your self worth. If your partner draws up the courage to show you some tough love, try and reframe it as a sign of their respect for you. Here are ten truths about tough love that you can help you embrace tough love in your relationship: It shows respect and self worth Not all love can be supportive and gushing, especially if there is a problem in the relationship or if someone has done something that hurt their partner. Tough love can be difficult to dish and it can be even more difficult to take, but it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, tough love is a form of love. It also means that you are looking out for your partner’s emotional wellbeing. But what does tough love mean in a romantic relationship? It means looking out for one another’s physical wellbeing. The phrase “tough love” often brings up memories of your parents taking away your phone as a teenager or a friend refusing to let you have another drink during a night out.
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